Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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