not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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