Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
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