I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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