Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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