Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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