I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
