in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
