Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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