The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
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You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
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Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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