wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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