Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Just cropdusted the office
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
