i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
