I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
