she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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