Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
