how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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