How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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