Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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