You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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