respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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