the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
