apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
