I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
