At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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