She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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