was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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