dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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