I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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