Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
