Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
