You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Randomize
