I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
