Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
we're making bets on your personal life
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
