if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
