You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
