dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
