WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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