All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
