It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV