no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
handjob tips. give me some.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!