i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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