garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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