please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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