someone owes me an orgasm
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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