I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?