im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"