the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
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Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
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This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night