is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
