Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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