I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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