So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize