thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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