Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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