What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
They took my balls.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
