I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
