Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
