Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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