Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
