no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
