dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Congratulations! We have a period
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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