I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
