clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
