# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
She's like a pop up book from hell.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
