I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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